Where am I headed?

This is a question that I seem to be asking myself as the prospect of my future and my entire life (if I’m going to be dramatic) draws near. I find myself thinking more and more about what I want to do? Am I sure this is what I want to do? CAN I do it? And the answer I keep finding is I don’t know. I simply do not know, I may have some vague ideas, like what university I may want to go to and what subjects I DON’T want to do; personally I’m not a maths fan so that’s out of the question.

But back to the point of not knowing, I believe this to be a place that I am at that many others also are. We are all stuck in a dark place. A place that we have put ourselves with all the worrying about the future. It’s not a nice place, nor is it fun and if you’re still reading I’m sorry to depress you.

I remember being in year 7 thinking secondary school life was so hard but now as a year 12 student I’m laughing at my younger self. That’s not to say A levels are the worst thing ever, because they’re not (actually they’re rather fun), I’m simply saying my year 7 way of life is enviable. When my hardest decision was whether or not I wanted to have a chicken wrap or chips for lunch (side note: I most likely got both).

But on a happier note I can safely say that although we may have gotten ourselves caught in the dark with questions about the future, we are not alone. I think that’s the most comforting thing, when you look at the bigger picture does anyone actually know exactly where they’re headed and how their lives are going to work out?

I suppose the not knowing is the beauty of life. The unknown is exciting, frightening and thrilling all at once. There are adventures to be had, mistakes to be made and learnt from. We are going to laugh and cry and we will be having a damn good time all the while…at least I hope so anyway.

I haven’t offered a solution to the problem, nor answers to the questions and I still have no idea what the hell I’m really doing but I guess that wasn’t the point. The point of this was to be a comfort, a show of solidarity; I understand.

Here I am, reaching out a hand in the dark.

(And yes I realise this was cheesy as hell)

Abby Ryan, year 12.


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